I'm over 40 and I still don't want them!
My brother has 4 and I'm exhausted when I leave his household...
I think people just make assumptions based on their own lifestyle - I'm forever being referred to as "Mrs" yet I've never been married - people just assume because you're of a certain age that you must be married. I think it's the same about assuming you should want to have kids (because they do).
Very few of my fiends have children so I think it's definitely a "lifestyle" choice that's on the increase. Just take a deep breath and tell them about your lovely holidays...
Sign me up for this club
I'm 32 and don't want kids. My partner (soon to be husband in 8 weeks) feels the same. We have a great life and a very loving relationship, and I don't wish to change a thing. We have a cat which fits in very nicely with out lifestyle. We enjoy travelling a lot, and society tends to frown on people who abandon their kids to go on holiday, whilst leaving a cat for 2 weeks at the local cattery is perfectly acceptable.
I agree with JEvans - surely it's worse to have kids just because everyone else expects you to.
Will i regret this descision when I'm in my 60s+? If I do, then I'll just have to remember that at the time I felt it was the right decision. Who's to say people that do have children don't have regrets too?
Either way, I will stick by the decision I have made, taking comfort from the large cocktail I'm sipping on my 7th Caribbean cruise (I'm not paying to raise kids so I'll be able to afford it!!)
I have a friend who doesn't think she will have kids either, and we were saying perhaps we'll be having lunch one day in 30 years time and we'll both go "damn. Should have had kids" but I have lots of friends, lots without kids (as well as those with!) and I figure I will always have a friend to go and see if I have some time to fill.... See! I have no idea what kids are about - presumably they aren't about 'filling time'...!!
Why do people have kids?
I am going to keep my options open though. I'm not saying definitely never. I'm just saying I very much doubt it. I was interested to see Cari-Su having a scare and your reaction suggesting you didn't want it. I often wonder what I would be like if I had a scare. My worry is that the maternal gene would kick in which would be the biggest scare of all! I think that would perhaps be the only way i would have kids actually, if it were an accident. Hmm....
Blimey, this is all a bit deep for a Tuesday!
Has anyone read We Need to Talk About Kevin? There is a page in there where the woman telling the story lists all the reasons she didn't want children and I agreed with them all.
Then on the next page she said "of course this just means I am a horrible person"... or words to that effect! It was like a slap in the face having felt I was starting to connect to the character!!!
I think my problem is that I am a control freak. My poor husband puts up with a lot (though I have to say, all my friends have the same problems, so I think men just need to tow the line a bit more, right ladies?? ) and I would probably do myself a mischief trying to keep everything in check with a little babber on my shoulder too.
When I was 13 or 14 all I wanted to be was a babysitter (anyone else a fan of The Babysitter Club books?). My dad had a friend who needed a babysitter so I went around to meet the kids. I had to watch a kid jump around on a trampoline and nearly fall off several times (I almost had a heart attack!), and then admire the waterproof bedding for the little boy, in case I needed to change the bed. I was trying really hard to be a good potential babysitter, but the mother must have seen something in me. I was never hired.
OMG a whole number of girls with the same view as me... I was beginning to think I was the only person left with these views.
I am 33 and have never wanted to have children and I cant see me changing my mind, also I'm not to fussed about ever getting married. I have a very happy relationship with a lovely fella whom I live with and we enjoy life to the full.
However all my friends are settling down (as they call it) and getting married/having babies and no one (apart from me) wants to do anything so I am really struggling to find girlie chums to do anything with apart from go to their houses for coffee (yawn).
Problem comes now that everyone thinks I'm the freak! I even overheard a group of my friends discussing me the other day... saying "oh isnt it sad that Rebecca cant have kids"
Keep strong girls.... we might feel different to the "norm" but we are all unique and beautiful...
I'm not alone!! I'm so glad I've found this forum.
I'm 30 and have been married for 5 years, and my husband and I don't want children. We like children, but have no desire to have our own. Our nephews (although adorable) are hard work and part of me is always pleased to leave.
I completely agree that it is tiring when people say 'Oh, you'll want them one day'. How do they know what my husband and I want?. I'm still waiting for this apparent 'broody' feeling women get, but nothing, infact I'm getting worse and have no interest in other peoples pregnancy or babies and I doubt I'll change my mind.
We have 4 cats, and I consider them hard enough work at times, although they are beautiful. I love my job and I have worked very hard to make it a career and I am not giving it up.
This forum has put a smile on my face and made my day. Thank you.
Heres to not growing up and having the freedom to do exactly what I want in my free time.
I was beginning to think I was a bit abnormal until I found this!
Most of my friends have settled down and some are even on their 3rd child!
I always thought I wouldn't want kids until I hit 34 (no idea why that number...) but I can't see me ever changing my mind.
I guess my only problem is meeting guys - they all seem to want kids and I don't see the point in getting past a coffee as it'll only lead to heartache down the road if I don't change my mind. Looks like I'm staying single for a while yet!
You're definitely not abnormal. I've just started finding and reading more about child free. I'd made the decision years ago, but as I've gotten older, the comments and pressure have gradually increased and so I started looking around for like minded individuals. There are definitely a ton of them out there. My favorite is www.babyoffboard.com in case you're interested.
I am 27 and in a long term relationship but also don't want children. Most of my friends have children and they also ask me if I will have children, even people I work with or my boyfriend's friends (which I always find uncomfortable because they all have children too) - it's like you reach an age and time when people start to ask this and they are always shocked to find out that I do not want children. I don't know what the huge deal is, and agree with everyone on here, it's not right for everyone. I have 3 nephews and a niece and my partner also has a little girl, I love them all but I just can't see myself having children for many different reasons. There are a couple of things that I know I will miss out on if I do not have children (no not child birth! Sorry but it doesn't appeal to me at all) the wonderful relationship I have with my mum and also the possibility of drifting apart from friends that have children, like worrying that they won't want to see me because I do not have children for their children to play with as they grow up. Even though I'm aware of these issues it still does not make me want to have children. But reading this back to myself my reasons are nothing to do with the children, like I'm going to miss bringing up a child etc, really it is just not for me and I'm pleased to also read I am not the only one.
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